Stuff that pours out of the hole in my brain


So I watch awful tv. It’s just what I do. While I was waiting for Top Model to come on, I watched I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant: Baby in the Living Room. Or something like that. There’s always a colon and then a descriptive passage. In general these are fairly normal people who somehow just don’t know they’re knocked up. How is it possible not to know that?

Then speaking of weird shit on tv, what is up with the commercials? I couldn’t figure out what the first commercial was about but I noticed that the seemingly Hispanic man mentioned god and then he appeared to have more and more children. It was only four in the end but that still seems like a lot to me. The next commercial was an African American self- professed inner-city teacher. Both of them said that they were what Mormons were all about. I certainly don’t associate non-white people with Mormonism and frankly those people don’t help change my mind. All it does is make me wonder what is wrong with them and why any religion is advertising on tv.

Other miscellany:

*In poop news, a bird took an epic dump on my windshield the other morning. It was sort of raining as I drove to work and all of a sudden I heard a huge plopping sound. I thought maybe it was just an especially large raindrop, which didn’t really make any sense. But nope, I was two giant globs of poop. Each one was at least 2 inches. Proportionally I think that would equal a four foot long human poop. What was wrong with that bird? And how did it know to shit just out of the area that my wipers cover?

*My high school acquaintance that I friended on fb (for no reason other than we used to be honors chem lab partners) consistently either likes or comments on her own post. The fact that you posted it pretty much implies that you like it and if you had more to say, why not just include that in the original post?

*Tomorrow Maggie has a playdate with the MILF’s kid at her house in the gated community. Whenever I see her, she always has on the tightest leggings I’ve ever seen without something over them. I feel like I was seeing both more and less of her than I should be seeing, but given her MILF-ness she somehow pulls it off. Not much more to say after that.


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