Archive for October, 2011

In my Greenlake notes, I saw some man who looked like he was squatting to take a crap. Perhaps he was stretching but that seems like the kind of stretching that you should do at home. And speaking of crapping, I had another epic bird crap on my car today. The crap was epic, probably […]

Here are some public bathroom-related mysteries/questions: How do you get shit on the back of the toilet seat? How do you aim your ass to make that happen? If you have to take a huge crap in a public toilet, do you need to draw attention to yourself by making grunting noises? Maybe some people […]

So I watch awful tv. It’s just what I do. While I was waiting for Top Model to come on, I watched I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant: Baby in the Living Room. Or something like that. There’s always a colon and then a descriptive passage. In general these are fairly normal people who somehow […]

Of things weird


Yesterday was a weird day. While I was at work I had to deal with two clients who were crazy, one in an awesome way and the other in a get the hell away from me way. My awesome crazy client staged a one-woman protest at her lender’s office downtown. I told her that they […]