Now with 100% more invisibility

13Sep11

I think of all the times I wished I could become invisible: at a boring party, an awful meeting, shortly after I’d said something inappropriate in a small talk situation, after I wiped out running down Wisconsin Ave. my freshman year in college. Alas I was never able to call forth my powers of invisibility. Until today. Apparently on Tuesdays while driving a green Subaru between 5:40 and 6:00 pm, I am invisible. That’s the only reason I can think of that three cars turned left in front of me and another one decided that they needed two lanes to drive instead of one. These are situations where I channel my father. I just keep going at the same speed and don’t adjust to their stupidity. You want to turn in front of me? Go ahead but I may hit you because I’m not slowing down just because you’re an idiot. I missed car number two by a couple of feet. The crash probably would have rendered me visible again.

Two unrelated items:

I learned last night that wine and Ambien don’t mix. Sure it says that on the bottle but I didn’t know exactly how much they didn’t mix. I think I was in a fugue state.

Today at the grocery store there was a girl next to me at the checkout whose toes were about a half inch over the front of her high-heeled, open-toed sandals. How does that not hurt to have your toes suspended and basically bisected by a wooden sandal? And even if it doesn’t hurt, can you not see what that looks like? If you can’t, it just looks ridiculous. Even if you have fabulous feet. Don’t make me go invisible and cut off your toes.

Filed under: Uncategorized   |  1 Comment