Recent life in bullet points

07Sep11

*76 year old client today: “SHIT!! Oh and honey, just so you know that’s not a swear word for me. That’s my mantra.”

*Spotted around Greenlake lately: creepy race walker dude, woman running in shiny, spandex, butt-rocker 80s-style pants, woman wearing bikini top that was migrating down to her waist, and man who ran with arms straight out.

*79 year old phone client: “I have that information, just hang loose.”

*Oh, man with the super tight cut-offs, boat shoes and ironic mustache. Get in my car and I’ll drive you to Federal Way where someone who fails to appreciate your irony can kick your ass.

*When your girlfriend is Asian, you may not want to go out in public with her while wearing a shirt that says I LOVE ASIA. Unless her name is Asia (which is problematic in a different way), you will just look like a sketchy collector of Asian humans. If you are the girlfriend of this man you should encourage him to change his shirt.

*I think you should just be able to walk away after you eat whatever treat is offered at an office birthday party. At a bare minimum the amount of small talk required afterward should be in direct proportion to the quality/tastiness of said treat.

*Hats off to the drive through worker at Burger King who truly did give me more ketchup than a human would need. The burger to ketchup ratio is not to be messed with and he respected that.

*Proposing an end to the diet coke/Ambien cocktail was all sorts of ridiculousness. Without Ambien how would I ever dream about flying to Vancouver, BC to see Ben Gibbard lecture about racism in a Roman-style colosseum.

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