Now with an extra side of anger


I went to see my doctor about my weird periods and she suggested that I go on low dose birth control. Aside from the irony of taking pills to control the potential of immaculate conception, I was fine with this. After four days of taking it I thought I would google the side effects. The top one I found? Anger and/or mood swings. Yeaaaahhh!! Because I can’t think of anything that would be better for me than more anger. This could explain why I have been alternatively telling people off and laughing so hard I’m crying. I have been in my specific job for over eight years but this week I’ve been letting loose with exceptionally creative strings of expletives after hanging up with lenders. Then when I went out to lunch with my coworkers, I saw a guy at another table that made me laugh uncontrollably with his peculiar eating habits. Then I think of something I’m going to say that I know is funny and I start laughing at my own funniness before it even gets out. Sort of ruins my usual deadpan delivery style.

Without further ado, my thoughts about things that are annoying or amusing me:

*The dark, leathery man with the large stomach who walk-runs around Greenlake with his tank top on and his tufts of grey chest hair poking out. I wonder if he likes the feel of the wind blowing through his chest tufts.

*The food bank delivery truck. How does it always know when I will be there? I come in at slightly different times. It’s like it’s there to mess with me.

*God damn mother fucking hipsters. Seriously. Stop with the irony and the clothes that don’t fit. Stop.

*People who can’t pronounce or spell my first and/or last name. Both of them are fairly traditional. Is it that difficult?

*The combination of oily skin and wrinkles. Not where I thought my skin would be at my age and I don’t feel like I want to embrace either one of them.


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