The trip from hell

29Apr11

Or perhaps into hell. I was already dreading the trip home to see my parents, especially after how bad my mom said my dad was. And it ended up being even worse than I thought. He was confused, agitated, and basically a shell of himself. As he said, he felt like a ghost among the living. It was a good description. I was prepared for him to have physical issues but not to be so out of it. He was paranoid and not making sense. My mom is terrified that it’s Alzheimer’s and I have to agree that it does seem like something major is wrong. If he does have some sort of dementia then that will bump him off the transplant list too. Each of them would corner me and start talking about the other one, and I didn’t know whose version of reality to believe. I suspect the truth lies somewhere between the two. I do know that my mom went crazy more than a couple of times, but my dad was acting totally out there too. The worst was when my mom wouldn’t allow me to use the car and basically kicked me out of the house when I told her that I didn’t want the kids around her yelling.

It was bad. There was someone crying at least once every day I was there. I don’t know what my mom is going to so. She needs to get some help but I don’t know how she will do it, or if she will. She has such a martyr complex. At least I got D to see that these trips are not a time for me to  relax. He didn’t even ask about my dad during our first phone call and when I pointed it out, he said that all he cared about was his family. Um…but I am your family and you should care about my dad. Everyone else seems to be capable of asking about him. Then we talked again and he apologized for not being able to care about everyone. Um…again, not really acceptable. That’s not much of an apology. I told him how stressful the whole experience was and he told me that I was milking it for time off/breaks. He said that it was my choice to go to visit my parents. As though I actually had a choice in whether I want my children to see their extremely sick grandfather. Idiot.

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